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Wednesday, October 05, 2016

#MakeConfidenceHappen with Liza Soberano

It's different when you talk to girls about insecurities versus when the world's most beautiful person (yeahp hi Liza hi LizQuens) talks about it. We mortals often think that celebrities, especially the most beautiful one (aka Liza), do not share the same insecurities and issues that we commoners face. But whelp, it now dawns on me that celebs have it even worse because they have not only their looks but every single thing about their existence to be insecure about because being in the public eye really puts one under intense and often unnecessary scrutiny. 

You know how much I love Maybelline that even when people harshly label me as #MaybellineSponsored at times, I just can't help but stand by the brand. The brand really does churn out good and affordable products, and values wise, the 'Make It Happen' slogan really resonates to me so much. My whole life and my whole blogging career has been hinged on a 'Make It Happen' mindset so I don't need to be cajoled into talking about the brand you know. 

I am so happy that they did this video with Liza talking about self-confidence and insecurities and everything. She is a really smart girl (even her manager Ogie Diaz says so all the time) and it's so nice to hear something like this from someone whom we all look up to. 

Her video, to me, highlights two key points. I'm sure other people will see other things, but this is what I see.

For one, we all have our fair share of haters. Sometimes, we think that haters refer to random, emotionally charged online trolls. The ones who bash on celebs on Instagram all the time. But more often than not, it can be simply anyone who breaks our self esteem down. It can unfortunately be a tita, our own moms, family, colleagues, or to summarize, they could be people who are around us or near us.

Honestly, I will be very honest that after being made fun of for being fat by family and others for the longest time, I now have a mental trauma per se. I was chubby ever since hitting puberty, and I really am forever scarred over the things I have heard people say over the years. I think the most hurtful statements are when I'm shopping at like Forever 21 or H&M and my mom would taunt me that if I don't lose weight, I'll lose clothes to wear from those stores. I will also never forget that once, my aunt repeatedly kicked me in my grandma's house, lamenting how fat I was. And probably what's even worse is that even after all these years, my mother refuses to believe me that that happened. I feel like crying whenever I remember the kicking and my mother's siding with my aunt.

I will also never forget the time when I hadn't met a voice coach from my childhood. She hasn't seen me in over 10 years, and when she and my mom spoke after a long time, my mother brought up how fat I had become. And the voice coach, upon seeing me and finishing the routine beso-beso, shrieks and tells me "Oh my what have you done to yourself? What happened to you?!". I felt so bad that that was what she had wanted to say after not seeing me for ten years. She could've said so many other things after not seeing me for so long and yet she focused on that. I feel so bad until now even if it's months since I last saw her.

And to be honest, those incidents just happened to be among the worst. A few episodes among many "Napabayaan ka sa kusina" statements from my aunts for the longest time. I remember as a 10 year old that another aunt had put me on a fat measuring weighing scale (which if I remember was something her other in laws were selling) and was even so delighted when she proved that through the machine it showed how fat I am (and validated their beliefs). And I could go on and on and on about many incidences over the years. The worst is that all these people think they're "helping" me, but in reality, no one was close enough to helping me get on a diet or exercise plan or gym trainer. It was all just words and the destruction of dignity.

I think it has gone from a bodily status to a mindset. My mother would always call me fat, and when other people would say it's not true, she would say that they're only lying to me or are cajoling me and that she's the only one who cares enough to say the truth. My mother really is, deep down, a very caring and generous person. But now I can never believe I am not fat even after people tell me I'm not or even after losing 20 pounds over stress as of late because at the back of my mind I will always be haunted by the thought that what if my friends are only lying to get something from me. I am sure that all the other fat people reading this can relate to me that once that self esteem is broken it is hard to have faith in one's self. It's now hard for me to think that I am capable of being liked, of succeeding, or whatever, because I'm fat.

But then that leads me to my second takeaway from this video.

We, people, have the actual power to be bigger than our insecurities. And I find that to be among the most comforting thoughts in the world.

And I think that being bigger than our insecurities can go both ways, each way deserving just as much respect and admiration.

For one, we can simply look past our insecurities. We can teach ourselves to accept our insecurities and love ourselves. We can use our insecurities to make us better people. I have seen a lot of people embracing their quirks and loving themselves for who they are and being unapologetically b***hy to anyone who is against it. And I admire them so much because these, I think, are the people who have truly been freed from their insecurities. Like if they are at the point that they can defend their self esteem and love for themselves, it means they have totally gotten over the insecurity. How can they fight over something they're not sure about in the first place, right?

But then, I think, for most other people who aren't emotionally that strong (I am totally in this group), the other way is to get rid or weaken the source of the insecurity.

I thank the proliferation of the internet because the massive spread of all sorts of information has enlightened and informed people over many issues, be it skincare, makeup, fitness, fashion, or whatever.

The proliferation of gyms has been, I think, a big help, too, for many people. The spread of gym chains that cater to all sorts of needs and logistical budgets has helped so many people. And now, the myriad of YouTube exercise videos and online diet and fitness coaching resources has done a lot to make more people fit. Being fit now is not just reserved for the rich because there are so many cost saving tutorials available online. Imagine, years back, if you were fat, you had to believe whatever people and magazines were saying. You just had to do random stuff at home. There are people who have even been cajoled decades ago into smoking because of the claims of weight loss...

We are also now in the phase of advanced skincare that most skin issues have treatments to solve them for. Who would have also ever thought that we now have IV, pills, and laser treatments for whitening? We've come a long way from papaya soaps and lotions. And we also now have highly sophisticated plastic surgery to make people really have a change for the better.

But before surgery, makeup plays a big role in that part. Makeup can correct most insecurities that people have. I think most people's insecurities can be resolved by a trip to a Maybelline counter. People who have things to chisel can look to their contour line. Those who think their eyes are too small or not "bright" enough can look through all the mascaras Maybelline has. You know you can't go wrong with the mother of mascaras, right?

Liza's favorites, I think, are good starters for those who just want to feel naturally beautiful with a little help from a secret friend. She likes the Creamy Mattes in Clay Crush, which I think is a good starter for a lot of Pinays as it's a universally flattering shade. The HyperCurl mascara which she likes is also something that's cheap but does the job to brightening the eyes. Her penchant for Maybelline's new and improved Clear Smooth All In One powder is also something to be emulated because it's an affordable, good coverage-but-lightweight powder that most Pinays can use. It's gentle enough for most teenagers and makeup beginners and works hard just like how we all do.

I personally think that makeup has been such a big help to me in getting over many of my insecurities. In general, I have always felt I was the ugly one in the bunch. I was never chosen for anything pertaining to beauty in my whole educational life (be it class Muse, intramurals Muse, representative to batch beauty pageant, etc), but makeup has given me the mindset that I can be a better version of myself while it's on. And I personally don't think that I'm fooling anyone because I'm just being a better version of myself, I'm not trying to be someone else with makeup on. Technicalities wise, I love how makeup has helped to make up for my flat nose and to help "slim" me down through contouring.

I admit, I still believe I'm fat and I still think that I really should do something about it, but I like how the little things like makeup, skincare, and clothes can make me feel better about myself as they help to weaken the sources of my insecurities. My cats make me feel better about myself, too. My cats are very sweet to me but not to other people, so in them I can say that I am loved. I know it's so funny to say this, but I always know that deep inside my cats think mommy is the prettiest ever.

I honestly will urge you all to either learn to love your quirks or look for your own opportunity to kill off the sources of your insecurities. The first is much harder to do, but I hope many of you will achieve it. As for the second, I love how there is so much makeup in the world for that.

1 comment :

Sharma Mae Angeles said...

I also Love Liza so much!!! Superb ang kagandahan :)

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